


The Zarrow Shuffle

by gottalovev



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Matchmaking, Established Relationship, Good Intentions, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, M/M, Misunderstandings, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Stony Trumps Hate 2017, Team as Family, but not between Steve and Tony, the Avengers' identities are secret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 04:38:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13539849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gottalovev/pseuds/gottalovev
Summary: When they notice that Steve seems to have a mysterious - and possibly bad for him - girlfriend, Nat and Clint investigate. Steve just wishes they'd stop prying into his personal life, especially since heistrying to keep a secret.





	The Zarrow Shuffle

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [The Zarrow Shuffle|扎罗洗牌法](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14703822) by [vdb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vdb/pseuds/vdb)



> This fic is the result of the Stony Trumps Hate auction of 2017! 
> 
> It was made following the request of MassiveSpaceWren and Cazdraw, whom were sponsored by an extremely generous anonymous donator. 
> 
> I am sorry for the lateness my lovelies, and I hope you enjoy the story!
> 
> Note: this doesn't follow any hard canon, but was made with the MCU characters in mind but where everyone thinks that Iron Man is Tony Stark's bodyguard, and all of the Avengers identities are secrets to the public.

With a swift jab, Natasha elbows Clint's arm away when he reaches to steal her popcorn. It's free, but it's hers and she needs it while she watches Steve argue with Sam, flushed and gesturing at the television.

"It's a travesty, that's what it is!"

"You're being overdramatic about this, man," Sam says, taking a sip of his beer. His own body language is relaxed, with him sprawled back in his chair. It might seem casual, but playing it cool is plainly a deliberate ploy from Sam to goad Steve a little more. It works, too. Sam winked at Natasha earlier when he first got Steve going, and she hides a smile by putting a couple more kernels in her mouth. "It's just a specialized job, and it moves the game along."

"But that's not how baseball should be played!" Steve objects, while also leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest, mulish. "It's just not okay. The whole team is together in defense, but after that every player must contribute at bat, too! One on one against the other team's pitcher, that's it! They all have to do their job!"

"But pitchers in general just don't do their job at bat!"

"Maybe they should _try_! For God's sake, Babe Ruth started as a pitcher! He could hit!"

"Maybe forever ago. Now pitchers are essentially an automatic out, and where's the fun in that? With a designated hitter-"

Steve leans towards Sam. "That's not baseball!" he all but hisses.

It's great to see him like this, animated and passionate. The Avengers formed two years ago and for the longest time Steve had gone through the motions of interacting with the team like a robot, polite to a fault but always controlled, constantly observing. Understandable, of course; in fact, for a guy unfrosted seventy years in the future, he was extremely functional. Job wise, the first few months of Avenging had amounted to only a crisis here and there. It was definitely too much free time for Steve to think and brood over his grief and all he'd lost. But then their sponsor, billionaire Tony Stark, had offered cover jobs in his company to all the Avengers so they'd have something to do between missions.

Thor had declined, happy to hop between realms and cities, so much so that he was sometimes absent from missions. Thankfully they hadn't suffered from it. Yet, Natasha adds in her head. Bruce works in Stark Industries' labs on his own projects and seems happy as a clam. Natasha chose security with Clint and Iron Man, who was of course already on the payroll, being Stark's bodyguard. But the most surprising choice had been Steve’s: working with Stark Industries' product design creative team. He had taken to it like a fish to water and was coming out of his shell more and more.

The other Stark Industries employees have no idea they have Avengers in their ranks save for Iron Man. They had agreed early on that every member would be masked in the field and that their identities would be kept secret from the public. This makes for awkward situations when they need to run out for an emergency, but they haven't been caught yet. Natasha is certain that Sam Wilson, who works in security at the Tower too, is one or two botched alibis from figuring them out. That might not be so bad, though, because she has built a file on him and suggested to Fury that he'd be a great addition to the team. Sam is smart, clear headed, and has experience with the 58th Rescue Squadron and also as a test pilot for the EXO-7 Falcon program. He could be a very interesting candidate.

For the moment Sam is just a friend from work, one they hang out with quite a bit. Steve and Sam quickly became two peas in a pod, getting along so well that they've been roommates for six months now. Seeing them argue about baseball is amusing, and reassures Nat that Steve is, undoubtedly, adjusting better to the 21st century. Except about rules changing in baseball though. That doesn't fly at all.

"It improves strategy," Sam argues, warming up to the subject. No wonder those two clicked.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this argument from you, too," Steve says, shaking his head in dismay.

Steve argued about the relevance of a designated hitter with someone else? Nat would bet it was with Iron Man. Stark's bodyguard is Steve's best friend, has been pretty much since he was defrosted. Lately Iron Man has been away a lot, though, on several jobs following Mr. Stark to California, as Mr. Stark has been cleaning house and strengthening the business since fighting a hostile merger a few months back.

While Sam continues arguing the merits of a player he probably doesn't care about at all, Natasha notices Steve twitch, then fish his phone out of his pocket. He rapidly checks it right then and there, under the table but not hiding it, which is not Steve's style. He claims that people are too rude with their phones. That the least they can do is to listen to the people they are actually talking to, and that any message or text would keep. Clearly he had been expecting this one, even though he doesn't reply to it, just puts his phone back in his pocket and gets ready to leave. 

"Is that the girlfriend calling?" Sam teases.

Nat is fascinated by how Steve's face immediately shuts down.

"I don't have a girlfriend," he replies curtly. Clearly Sam's pestering has hit a nerve, and Natasha is intrigued. Especially when Steve gets up and drops a couple of bills on the table. "I have to go, g'night."

A touchy Steve is rare these days. There is something going on.

"Man, don't be like that!" Sam whines. "I was just teasing!"

Steve lets out a slight amused huff, mouth curling up. "I know, it's all right. A friend of mine needs help that's all. I don't know how late I'll be."

"Got it. I never hear you come in anyway, it's eerie. Hope your friend is okay."

"They'll be fine. Night everyone, see you tomorrow!" Steve says, waving as he leaves.

Not to be mean, but Natasha isn't aware of many friends of Steve that are not either an Avenger or Sam himself, and this intrigues her. But then again she doesn't know everything about his life. She fears that it's a sign she might be losing her edge, which can be course corrected by quizzing the roommate.

"You think Steve has a girlfriend?" The man is a disaster at flirting, but an willful woman could have taken matters in her own hands and moved things along. Natasha has tried to set him up for a long time, and she can't decide if she should be vexed or proud that Steve might have found someone without her help.

"I don't know, but it looks like it. Steve's phone goes off at the weirdest times and he disappears for hours."

Clint throws Natasha a look, and she inclines her head. Yeah, that might be Avengers related. On the other hand, it cannot be the case right now since they weren’t summoned.

"So he just goes out to see his mysterious friend."

Sam nods. "He says he's going for a run, but frankly no one runs that much."

"You know Steve, he's a fitness buff," Clint says.

"Oh, I know, I live with the guy," Sam replies, chuckling. "It's just that he comes back with his hair wet and definitely not smelling of sweat. So I assumed he went to an actual gym for a while, running on a treadmill or some shit. But when I suggested I'd join a gym, he simply said I should do it, that it could be good for me. He didn't invite me along for his own workouts, which is not Steve. If it's not training, then it's something else and my second guess is that he's seeing some girl."

It t could be Avengers missions, or even quick side quests for Fury, but it's been terribly quiet on that front lately - no one wants to fight in a heat wave.

"Has it happened anytime other than today?" Clint asks.

"Third time that I am aware of this week, and that's including Sunday where he disappeared in the middle of the day," Sam says, shrugging a shoulder. "It could be more, I'm not keeping track or anything."

There have been no Avengers calls in ten days. Not even one. Nat is definitely becoming more interested in this mystery. She exchanges a look with Clint who nods. They'll get to the bottom of this.

 

***

 

Out in the street, the evening's air is hot and humid, quite a contrast from the bar's AC. It seems like the heat wave won't break tonight, then. Steve takes out his phone and re-reads the text he just got from Tony and he can’t help but grin.

From @unknown, 21h45  
_I need to move my couch, could you give me a hand?_

Instead of replying he dials Tony's number, who immediately picks up.

"Is that a yes? I really, really need to move this couch."

"That's probably your worst excuse yet," Steve says, but he can hear it himself, there's nothing but fondness in his tone.

"But it's true!" Tony exclaims. "I need it to move it all night long!"

He sounds in a good mood, which is just how Steve likes it. This is welcome progress considering how stressed out Tony's been for the last months because of the crisis at Stark Industries. Most of the mess was cleared out, and Steve sure hopes things can go back to normal soon. He hates it when Tony needs to travel to Los Angeles for business a lot.

"We agreed that it would be best if the texts you send me were realistic, just in case someone is near me and sees the screen."

"Hence the demand for help with the couch. It's a big couch."

Tony's couch is indeed enormous, but Steve won't be distracted by billionaire logic.

"Tony, who moves their couch at 10 o'clock at night?" Steve asks.

"I don't know? It could happen!"

"Not in the real world, babe," Steve says affectionately.

"Right, right, remember to think like the plebe. Got it."

"Admit it, you only wanted to make an innuendo." It's clearly the biggest reason for that particular choice of words, of course. It wouldn't be Tony any other way.

"Obviously. But I still think it's pretty clever. Doesn't scream booty call too much, does it?"

Once, Steve might have been bothered that Tony calls the moments they steal to see each other booty calls, but after almost a year together he knows it's just smack talk. Time and time again Tony proved that he's serious about their relationship. The secrecy about Tony being Iron Man is to avoid a drop of Stark Industries' stock prices, and the loss of jobs that could follow. Tony publicizing his relationship with nobody Steve Rogers could endanger Steve's own Captain America secret identity as well, which is something they definitely want to keep under wraps. 

"Not too much. But a bit."

"I miss you, that's all," Tony says with a little sigh.

It makes Steve smile, wistful. "I wish we could spend more time together too. I'm on my way right now."

"Excellent!"

"Before I forget," Steve says, knowing that all rational thinking leaves his head as soon as he gets his hands on Tony, "We should be more careful for a while. Sam commented on me getting the text and Natasha and Clint sniffed out that something is going on."

"Ah shit."

"I know." This could become a problem - he wouldn't even be surprised if they started following him. Steve doesn't want to see Tony any less than he does now, but it might be required for a while.

If they figure out Steve is seeing Tony, they might discover he's Iron Man too. In hindsight, it's pretty easy to put everything together. Steve had no idea before they started seeing each other. He became close friends with Iron Man and then gradually fell in love with the man under the armor. As soon as their flirting became more serious, Tony confessed his secret to Steve and the reasons why he was keeping it. It had been a shock at the time, but a good one. If he was being totally honest, Steve had entertained a couple of fantasies about their gorgeous billionaire sponsor, even though his heart belonged to Iron Man. That being said, Steve had needed to work hard to convince Tony that he wanted a relationship even if it meant sneaking around. 

He hasn't regretted it since. Natasha and Clint asking questions or actively spying on him could threaten the whole thing.

Steve resolves to worry about that starting tomorrow. Right now he's looking forward to spending some quality time with his boyfriend and making the best of it.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Great. I'll slip into something comfortable."

Steve starts laughing. God, he's incorrigible. That probably means Tony will wait for Steve completely naked and sprawled seductively in his bed - or the couch - in an exaggerated position just to make Steve laugh. It's a nice image anyway, and Steve walks faster.

"See you soon."

 

***

 

Since the night at the bar, Nat has been wavering on the next step to take in order to find out what is going on with Steve. Months ago she just would have tailed him until she had her answer, but the idea now makes her uncomfortable. Steve is her friend, and he'd be pissed - or even worse, hurt - if he found out she was spying on him. But confronting Steve on something he doesn't wish to share historically doesn't yield good results. She decides to give it a try, at least.

"So," Nat says, sitting next to Steve in the back of the Quinjet. The first part of today's mission was successful, no one was injured, and Steve's been smiling; it seems like an appropriate time to probe a little before they jump back in action, the next base over.

"So, what?" Steve asks, relaxed in his chair.

"We had a very intriguing conversation with Sam the other night..." She uses a teasing tone, but instead of just rolling his eyes Steve blanks out.

"What about?"

"Sounds like it wasn’t the first mystery text that has sent you out the door," she continues anyway.

Steve huffs, blowing air through his nose. He’s visibly unhappy with this conversation. "That's none of your business."

"Aww, come on," Nat prompts, pushing Steve's thigh playfully. "You can tell me!"

It has the opposite of the effect she was gunning for as Steve gets up, almost angry now. "Drop it."

Iron Man clanks over. "Oh, is there gossip?"

Steve throws him a betrayed look. "Not you too, Shellhead!"

"Hey, I just asked-" Iron Man starts, but he trails off when Steve strides off into the cockpit with Clint and puts an end to the questioning. It could have been worse, he could have jumped out of the plane.

"What’s going on?" Iron Man asks.

"We think Steve might be seeing someone."

The armor's head tilting is as judgemental as his tone on the next question. "And that's important why? It's Steve's business, no?"

"Sure," Nat concedes. "But why won’t he tell us?"

"Maybe it's new," Iron Man says. "Maybe it's nothing special. And maybe keeping silent is not his choice."

Even through the voice modulator, Nat can hear a thread of hurt. And here Iron Man goes, stomping off towards the cockpit, too. Maybe he feels out of the loop as well. Him and Steve are close, it must not be easy when a good friend keeps secrets. Maybe he's jealous, in fact. At one point they had a ongoing bet on how long it would take for Iron Man and Steve to get together, but she dismissed the idea a long time ago. Clearly they won't ever act on the very obvious chemistry they share. Annoyed at her teammates' emotional constipation, Natasha goes to the cockpit too. She'll stop the questioning, for now.

"Boys and girl, we're almost there," Clint says. "Drop off in four minutes.

"You all know what you need to do!" Cap says, back in business mode.

"Yes Boss," Iron Man replies, now striding towards the back if the jet, ready to dive out as soon as the door opens. "Let's kick some ass. Again."

True. They need to get their head back in the game. There will be more appropriate times to worry about Steve's love life.

 

***

 

Long scalding showers are Steve's usual after a fight, and one of the greatest things about Avengers Tower is that they never run out of hot water. He stands under the spray longer than normal, rolling his right shoulder back and forth. The sprain already feels better, and the pain should be completely gone in a few hours. 

He hears Clint leave, calling for Nat and then their steps fading. Good. The battle at the second Hydra base was harsh, and if thankfully nobody was seriously hurt, they are all a bit beaten up. Even Iron Man's armor had been quite dented in the end, and although Tony claimed he was fine, Steve needs to make certain of it. He doesn't care if Nat is still suspicious, he needs to go see if his boyfriend is truly alright. He dries off, gets dressed, and makes his way to the workshop.

"Good evening, Captain Rogers," JARVIS says as he walks into the room after entering his passcode. Tony isn't working on the suit, which troubles him a little. He normally repairs the most important damage as soon as he comes back, always worried to be caught without a perfect armor if they have to go out to fight. The various part were left on the disassembly platform, except for the dented chest piece on a worktable, but visibly Tony just gave up for the day.

"Evening, JARVIS. Is Tony alright?"

"He claims he is 'fine'," the AI says, quotation marks implied, and yeah, that is not reassuring.

"I know you scan him for injuries. Tell me."

"Multiple contusions. Bruised ribs. No fracture or head injury detected," JARVIS lists.

Steve breathes out in relief. It's sad to be comforted by that, but it's better than he expected. "Okay. Thank you."

"If I may, Agents Barton and Romanov have left the building."

He smiles. "So what you’re saying is that they are not spying on me right now."

"Exactly, Captain. If you let me access your phone, Sir has devised an app that should help identify when you are watched."

"Cool. Of course you can access my phone." He walks over to the wall of armors and slips around the glass containing Mark 6. JARVIS has already opened the door of the secret elevator hidden behind it that will bring Steve right up to the penthouse.

After a quick ride, the panel slides open to reveal a broom closet set in the penthouse's main bedroom, perfectly innocuous. There's ample space in the wardrobe for Tony to store an armor if necessary, in an adjoining compartment. This allows Tony to make swift transitions between his two personas and move quickly from the penthouse to the workshop. But if someone was to open the closet, they'd only see a perfunctory broom, some cleaning supplies, and spare sheets.

Steve expects Tony to be already asleep. He generally faceplants on the mattress if he's exhausted, but the bed is still made. The en-suite shower is running, but by the time Steve reaches the door the water has stopped. With a light knock to announce his presence, Steve slips in the bathroom, facing clouds of steam.

Tony is toweling dry and turns to him with a smile. "Hey there. Perfect timing."

"Dunno," Steve says, letting his eyes roam over Tony's gorgeous body. "Feels like I'm late. Maybe I would have liked to wash your back."

It makes Tony laugh while throwing his head back and Steve's heart lurches. God, he's beautiful.

"Well then," he drawls, when the laughter has changed into a sly grin. Tony then slinks while coming his way. "Maybe we can get a little sweaty and a lot sticky and afterwards you can have a turn washing my back."

"Sounds like a plan," Steve agrees, gathering a mostly wet Tony in his arms and leaning down to kiss him.

He's pulling him close with an arm around his chest when he senses Tony tense and his breath hitch, even though he tries to hide it. Steve immediately feels guilty. God, he came up wanting to check on Tony's probable injuries, and a bit of skin had him entirely distracted.

"How are the ribs?" Steve asks, splaying a hand carefully on Tony's flank. “JARVIS said they were bruised.”

"Tender. But nothing broken, not even cracked."

"I certainly hope not," Steve says, gently toweling Tony dry a little more, eyeing what promises to be bad hematomas, but also a couple of scratches on Tony's shoulder. To scrape the skin like that, the shoulder must have been very dented and had to have went through the under armor, which Steve doesn't like one bit. By now Tony knows not to protest the examination, that Steve needs to see with his own eyes what they are working with. Tony does the same, hand gliding up to Steve's hurt shoulder. After all, he'd been right by his side when a hard hit and a poorly timed shield throw had Steve cursing up a blue streak.

"Better?" Tony asks.

"Yeah. Almost gone. I wish you healed just as fast," he confesses. 

"You and me both, darling. But I'm okay. Pretty good, in fact," Tony murmurs as he leans in for another kiss.

It's easy to get lost in it, and when Tony tugs him into the bedroom, he follows willingly. They are both exhausted, and in Steve's case it's like being mellowed out, the desire right there but with no urgency. Tony seems to be in a similar mood, for once not goading him into going faster or harder. Steve lays him down carefully on the bed and takes his time kissing and caressing every part of Tony. He's so strong but also fragile in a way that worries Steve so much sometimes. He eventually takes Tony's cock into his mouth for an unhurried blowjob which nonetheless gets Tony off fast.

"C'mere," Tony murmurs when he's through the aftershocks, tugging on Steve's hair. His eyes are bright and his cheek rosy when Steve obliges and slithers up on the bed to get poised over his boyfriend and kiss him deeply. God, he loves a pliant Tony, and he's so sweet right now.

"Is this okay?" Tony asks as they break the kiss and Steve is puzzled for a second because kissing him is always okay. The question makes more sense when Tony closes a hand around Steve's cock and gives it a tug, making him groan and arch into the touch. He's a lot more riled up than he thought, the orgasm that lurked quietly on the back burner suddenly very close.

"Yes. God." Steve learned early in their relationship that Tony gives phenomenal hand jobs. In fact, they're often better than complete intercourse he's had with other people. Part of that is Tony's incredible technique, and that by now he knows how to play Steve's whole body like a fiddle. But most of all it's fantastic because it means having all of Tony's attention and focus just to make him feel good, which is the headiest rush of all. "I love your hands."

"You do, huh?" Tony teases, proving Steve's point by timing a twist over the tip at the exact right time to draw a moan out of Steve.

"I do. Oh, fuck, I'm close," he pants. The tension is building and building and he's soon right at the brink, tethering before free fall.

"Come on Baby," Tony croons. "Come for me."

As always, it does the trick. Steve's coming even before Tony finishes the soft command, breath punched out of him at the bright burst of pleasure. It's good, so good, but it leaves him drained of energy afterwards, arms like noodles as he ends up half over Tony in an attempt not to crush him.

"There you go," Tony says, caressing Steve's back and kissing his forehead.

"Mmm hmm," Steve hums. God, what a rush, he's left pleasantly tingly all over.

It might be because he's healing, exhaustion from the fight, or even mainly the rush of endorphins but Steve feels his eyes closing already. It's so, so tempting to let sleep take over.

"I'm sorry." Tony's voice is subdued.

Steve is confused, he doesn't know what is wrong. He peers at Tony's face, who looks miserable.

"What?" he asks, worried now.

"You look so peaceful, and I'm sorry you can't just go to sleep. Or that if you do, JARVIS is set to wake you up in a couple of hours so you can go back home because of my stupid secret."

"Hey, hey," Steve says, capturing Tony's chin and forcing him to look at his eyes. "It's not a stupid secret. It's an important secret."

Tony pouts and Steve can't resist kissing him.

"You deserve better than this, Steve," Tony says with a sigh.

Steve often wishes things were different, and it would be stupid to think that Tony isn't aware of it.

"Sweetheart, I knew what I was getting into right from the start, and I would do it all over again," Steve reassures. "Sure, I wish I could spend the night. Yes, I'd like to wake up with you every morning." Tony makes a distraught little whine in the back of his throat and it kills Steve; he knows Tony wants that just as much if not more. "Shh, it's alright. Because the secrets are to protect you." Tony, his secret identity as Iron Man, the arc reactor embedded in his chest. "I'd do anything at all to protect you, Tony."

"So we’re still okay?"

"Of course we are." Truly, Steve is more than fine with keeping Tony’s secret, in order to keep him safe. His conviction must show on his face because Tony relaxes slightly.

"Still think you deserve more," he mumbles.

"I have everything I ever wished for," Steve reassures, and proceeds to kiss the doubt right out of him.

 

***

 

It turns out that a security job in a building with a very effective AI is pretty boring. Natasha knows that her and Clint's jobs were fabricated for the sake of their covers, but some excitement would be fun from time to time. Making rounds when you know that a computer in the Tower will know if there's something wrong a long way ahead of you feels a bit redundant.

The gossip is good though. Especially from Sam: the man has a flair for dramatic retelling.

"You guys have known Steve for a little while, yeah?" Sam asks.

"For a couple of years," Clint agrees. "Why?"

"Did you ever get his 'I am disappointed in you' face?"

Clint shudders and it makes Natasha chuckle when Sam points at Clint and crows.

"You did! That's a tell for a man who got that face!"

"We did. It's terrible," she admits.

"Well, if you think it's bad, I have seen worse. The 'it's your fault I have to do this face'. It's lethal."

"What are you talking about?" Natasha asks, intrigued.

"Since the bar and I brought up the texts and how he leaves after, Steve's been fidgety. Borderline paranoid."

"Do tell," Clint says, leaning towards Sam.

"There are fewer texts that I am aware of," Sam continues. "But when his phone chirps, Steve always stiffens. Then without fail he does his very best not to look around, it's painful to watch."

"Not to look around?"

"He doesn't want to draw attention to himself or his phone. He wants to check it so bad, it's all over his face, but he resists. Steve wants to get out, as he used to, but most times he doesn't. That's when I get the 'it's your fault I have to do this’ face."

"He's become harder and harder to follow. I think he's suspicious," Clint says.

"Follow?" Sam asks, frowning.

"You made us curious about the mystery woman," Clint says with a wink.

Sam makes a face. "I don't think stalking him is the best way to learn more about her."

"We tried asking," Natasha says. "Didn't work."

"Maybe Steve is in a bad relationship," Sam suggests.

"What do you mean?"

"The sneaking around could means it's something he's not proud of. Maybe she's married," Sam says.

The mere idea gives Natasha pause, but Clint speaks for her when he reacts. "What? Married? No way. Steve wouldn't."

"Just saying," Sam adds with a shrug. "It would explain why he wants her to remain a secret so bad."

It could, but Nat shakes her head. "Good theory, but I can't see it either."

Not Steve. He wouldn't break up a marriage, or even a relationship, she's convinced of that.

"Steve shouldn't have to sneak around to see someone he likes. For God's sake, he's Ca-" a swift kick to the shin and thankfully Clint makes a clumsy save. "-ring, honest, everyone should be proud to date him."

"Nice guys do stupid shit sometimes," Sam argues. "Maybe he really likes her so he’s okay with hiding it."

"Yeah, but she clearly doesn't deserve him. We should set him up with someone good for him." Clint is really getting passionate about this, but it's an interesting idea.

Nat has tried over and over to set Steve up with someone, and Clint’s remark has her going through her mental Rolodex once again. Somebody fun, who Steve already knows and gets along with would be best, so he doesn't dismiss the attempt right off the bat. Clint catches her eye and inclines his head towards Sam and... that's an interesting idea. After all, Steve told them he was bisexual months ago, which had opened up new possibilities in her matchmaking efforts. Sam has caught on to their non-verbal assessment, and he widens his eyes when Nat smiles at him.

"Interested?"

Shaking his head no, Sam quickly answers. "No, no. I love the guy, but not that way. It’s strictly platonic."

"Your loss," Clint says, shrugging.

Going back to her mental list of potential matches, one stands out. Maybe it's time to explore Iron Man as an option again.

"In fact, I have an idea," Nat says.

"Iron Man?" Clint and her often think alike. It's one reason they get along so well.

"Iron Man," she confirms.

"Mr. Stark's bodyguard?" Sam looks completely surprised. "Why would that be a good choice? Do they even know each other?"

"A little," Nat understates. "You know it's Iron Man who got us a recommendation for this job. We worked together. Steve too."

"If you say so," Sam concedes with a shrug. "I like the guy, he's a lot of fun, but the armor thing... Oh, do you know him out of the armor?"

"No," both Clint and her deny at the same time. Respecting Iron Man's privacy about his secret identity is something they fully committed to, from the start. But they do know their teammate: the armor might complicates things, but at least he would be good for Steve.

"Anyway, I am not getting involved in this," Sam declares, standing up. It's time for the East round.

"Suit yourself," Clint says as Sam leaves the security booth. "Sometimes I forget that Sam doesn't know about the Avengers," Clint adds when he's gone.

"It's our job to remember it, Clint," she says with a sigh.

Clint shrugs and starts laughing. "Sam's fanboy boner for Cap is funny as hell."

It's indeed hilarious. Whenever they are all together and the Avengers come up in conversation, Sam always praises Captain America and Steve goes pink every time.

"So," Nat says, going back to business. "How do we get Steve and Iron Man to finally admit their feelings?"

 

***

 

"I can’t see anything!" Nat says through the comm link. "Stay put, we'll get you out of there! Might be long though. Better make yourself comfortable. Widow out!"

Steve hears the click of the comm channel being cut and he turns to look at Iron Man in astonishment.

"Did she just-"

Even through the voice modulator, Tony sounds amused. "Yes, they locked us up in a room and left."

Steve bursts out laughing, placing his hand over his face. "Oh my God, they’ve frog-leaped over subtle to transparent on this."

"Steve, they haven't been subtle at all. We've been privy to desperately obvious match-making attempts for weeks, and they know that we’re aware of what they’re up to."

In Steve's opinion, it had started almost evasively, at least with Natasha, who mentioned offhandedly how even though her and Clint weren’t dating anymore, it was nice that there were no rules against fraternization in the Team.

"What, do you have an eye on Thor, Nat?" Iron Man had joked and she had rolled her eyes in response.

"No. It's just a good thing."

At the time Steve had assumed she was planning on asking Bruce out, because there was something brewing between the two, but she had been setting up the playing field for them.

This was followed by a Team movie night where once they’d all been situated in the rec room with beverages and snacks, Clint and Natasha suddenly found an excuse to make themselves scarce, leaving him alone with Iron Man. With 'When Harry Met Sally', of all choices. 

After that came suggestions about hanging out on the roof for a drink on a nice clear day, but then with only him and Iron Man showing up. Setting up lunches that looked suspiciously like dates.

Steve enjoyed it, of course he did, because it meant more time with Tony even if he was stuck in the armor. But they'd caught on to Clint and Nat's little game and were enjoying messing with them by exaggeratedly playing the platonic best friend card on every occasion.

"I am so glad I have you as a friend, Cap," Iron Man had said one morning.

Steve had keep a straight face and put a hand on the armor's shoulder, earnest. "Me too, Shellhead. You're the best."

Tony had JARVIS record Clint and Natasha's reactions, and they'd laughed and laughed at their clear frustration. The determination that overcame Nat's face was a little worrying, though, and Steve guesses that is how they ended up here. A tip about something fishy brought them to an empty warehouse, only for him and Iron Man to be locked in a room together for the foreseeable future.

"Cameras?" Steve asks.

"No," Tony says, letting the helmet fold back.

He's grinning and Steve cannot resist that smile - he pushes up on his toes and kisses him. "Good."

They make out for a while, but Steve can't stop thinking about how this could be an opportunity for them.

"We could do it," Steve says between kisses.

"What?" Tony looks dazed, clearly not focusing on much more than Steve at the moment, which is flattering.

"It's adorable how you can't think straight when I kiss you," Steve says, pecking Tony's nose, totally endeared.

"Of course I can't think 'straight'," Tony replies with a playful roll of eyes and a shimmy of his armored hips that should not make Steve so hot. "You were saying?"

"They’re working so hard to set us up. Iron Man and me." Steve had thought they were aiming for Cap and Iron Man at first. But then there had been suspicious forced-togetherness during break times at work and several non-subtle comments even when Sam was present. That took Captain America out of Clint and Natasha's little game, they wouldn't out Steve to Sam like that. "And I'm starting to think it's not a bad idea."

Tony hums, considering. "Steve Rogers and Iron Man."

"Less visibility and risks of prying eyes than with Tony Stark," Steve says with a shrug. "Just two Stark Industries employees."

"Iron Man is still an Avenger. There would be interest because everyone likes a good mystery, and he has a secret identity." Tony's not defensive though, not how he'd been when they'd discussed possibilities before. "Do you think we should do it? It would definitely calm down our super spies."

"I'd like that." It was just an idea minutes ago, but the more he thinks about it, the more Steve gets excited. He could tell Sam he's meeting his boyfriend for once, even spend the night maybe. They'd still have to be careful so that they don't mess up and endanger Tony's secret, but it's doable.

Visibly Tony is thinking along the same lines because he's smiling now. Seems happy at the possibility. "It's devious. I like it."

Steve surges up and kisses him with enthusiasm.

"Great," he murmurs against Tony's mouth, smiling right back.

Tony's eyes widen. "Oh! And it means that Natasha will stop her quest to match-make you!"

God. Yes. That's an awesome side-benefit.

"Bingo."

"I love it when you use lingo," Tony says, laughing. "Even lame, old people lingo."

"Shut up," Steve demands, and helps enforce it with another kiss.

 

***

 

They're in the security booth, where Natasha is building a structure with playing cards that Clint will soon have to destroy with elastic bands in increasingly difficult conditions. Sam, who usually goads Clint in those challenges, is silent and browsing his phone absently.

"What is it, Sam?" she asks, doubling-up one of her support cards at the base of the construction. It should resist better. 

Sam hums, and then sighs. "It's Steve."

"What about Steve?" Clint asks. "He's doing great, no?"

Steve hasn't stopped grinning since their desperate move of locking up Steve and Iron Man in that warehouse. Nat might act jaded, but she had melted when they'd came out of that room hand in hand (more like glove in armored gauntlet, but it was adorable). Steve was visibly freshly kissed and had the biggest smile on his face. They are awfully cute, and best of all it hasn't impacted the Avengers at all. They still work flawlessly together in the field, admittedly with more endearments. After jobs Steve often goes with his new boyfriend to Stark's lab. Iron Man has even showed up a couple of times on the Graphic design floor of Stark Industries to grab Steve and fly him out to lunch. 

"I thought it was better too," Sam says. "But he got one of those texts and disappeared around lunch time. The thing is, Iron Man is in Malibu for Stark Industries all week."

Nat knows what happened: they had an Avengers call at lunch. Nothing extreme, a slight Doombot problem and it was dealt with in an hour tops, even without Iron Man's help. It explains why Steve had left after that message, but they can't tell Sam that.

"Maybe he actually went for a lunch workout?" Clint says, grimacing at Nat. 

The more she thinks about it, the more she’s convinced they should tell Sam. The charade is so close to exploding in their faces, and she doesn’t want to hurt their friend. Sam isn't paying them much attention, though, still browsing on his phone. He suddenly straightens up with a disbelieving "Huh", eyes glued to his screen.

"What?" Natasha asks.

Sam grins. "Okay, so I didn't see that one coming! God, the conservatives will _freak_."

She snatches the phone from Sam's hand and for a second she doesn't quite realize what she’s seeing. Looks like a Captain America Fan Site, one that re-posts pictures from fans or any tidbit of information collected in the press. What has drawn Sam's attention is a fan picture or a paparazzi shot. Natasha recognizes the earlier Doombot attack on Avenue D, there's even a crumbled robot on the ground, at the bottom of the photograph. But that's not what is the most interesting about it; the focus is on two men caught unaware, half camouflaged by a dumpster. Very clearly, with no room for misinterpretation, Tony Stark is kissing Captain America. 

Shit.

 

***

 

When Karen finally leaves his office to go back to her own desk, Steve switches between his screens. Time to leave Photoshop where he was laying out the new SI advertising campaign to return to his report on the Doombot incident from earlier in the day. He needs to finish the damn paperwork, and then he'll be able to hang out with Tony for a couple of hours before going back at the apartment. His boyfriend’s frustrated that he couldn't join the fight today, not with Iron Man supposedly in California. Rhodes is playing the part over there while Tony appears in New York, a trick they do several times a year to maintain the illusion.

Steve is in the middle of creative reporting to explain the damage to a donut shop caused by a bot that overtopped because he punched it too hard when Nat and Clint bust into his office, faces like thunderclouds.

"What is it?" Steve leaps up, immediately reaching for his shield hidden under the desk.

Clint closes the door behind them and Nat point to his chair. "Sit down."

He doesn't understand what is happening, but he obeys, thoroughly confused.

"Is he blackmailing you?" Nat asks, tone clipped.

"What now?" Steve does not understand what she is going on about.

"Stark," Nat spits out. "Is he threatening to reveal your identity unless you sleep with him?"

Steve feels as if his jaw will hit the desk; he’s completely mindblown, shocked and confused at that the same time. "What?"

"I don't care how rich and powerful he is," Nat continues. "I'll scare him."

Steve raises his hands, even makes a T as a time-out gesture. "Whoa whoa whoa, what are you talking about?"

Natasha puts something directly in his line of vision, if a little too close, and for a moment he wonders why she has Sam's phone. But then he sees the picture on the display where Tony is kissing Captain America. Tony who of course couldn't stay away through the Doombots attack like the stupidly brave doofus he is, coming over to help anyway. Thankfully Steve kept him away from the fight, but they had kissed before Tony went back to the Tower, once he was reassured everyone was fine. Steve's first reaction is several expletives. 

Shit. Oh fuck. That's no good.

His own phone beeps in his pocket and he knows it's Tony.

"You can tell us," Clint says. "We'll get him to let go, find dirt-"

"No! No no no, it's not like that," Steve interrupts. "We've been together for months. I love him."

That's something he never said out loud apart to Tony himself, and Steve smiles at how wonderful it feels to finally share it. 

If possible, Natasha looks even madder. "What?"

"I can't believe you'd do that to Iron Man," Clint adds, looking disgusted.

Steve blinks, and then he starts laughing.

"It's not funny!" Natasha chides.

"It _is_ funny," Steve argues. 

They don't know why and he can't say, but it's hilarious. For an instant Steve considers saying he's with both Iron Man and Tony in a polyamorous relationship, but that means digging an even deeper hole for himself than the one he's stuck in now. Dating Iron Man has been great, and it relaxed Tony enough that they seriously discussed the night before that he should come clean to the other Avengers about his dual identity soon. Not to the public, maybe never, but at least to their friends. It feels as if it's time, and this stupid picture might have just sped up the timeline.

Steve's phone has been buzzing non-stop for the last few minutes. When he takes it out of his pocket, there are eight new messages, previews all from Tony, urging him to pick up. Poor darling, his heart may give up from the stress. Steve calls right back, lifting a hand to Nat and Clint so they give him a second. 

"Tony."

"Holy fuck, Steve. Fuck fuck fuck," he sounds panicked, and Steve feels bad. He should have answered.

"Tony, Sweetheart, calm down."

"Calm down? Do you have any idea what it will do to your image? I'm so sorry!"

Steve huffs, shaking his head. Of course the first thing Tony thought about was Captain America's image. He's ridiculous like that.

"Nothing to be sorry about. Come down to see me now, please. Clint and Nat are here and they are pissed about what that means for me and Iron Man," Steve says, as calmly as he can make it.

A beat of silence. "Oh. Shit."

"I think you should, you know. Like we talked. Last night." Tony's brilliant, he'll get the message without Steve having to say it in front of a very attentive - and still murderous looking - Clint and Natasha.

"Oh. Really?"

"Really." Steve projects as much confidence in his voice and tone as he can. "Come on, babe. Everything’s gonna be fine."

As soon as he hangs up, he raises a hand higher to stall Clint and Nat a little longer.

"I'm just asking for a minute, okay? Do not give Tony the third degree when he gets here, he's stressed enough as it is."

"He better be," Clint says, crossing his arms over his chest.

Five minutes later, Tony is opening Steve's door.

"Way to go Mr. Stark!" they can all hear Karen say from the other room.

Tony enters Steve's office while still looking at her. He seems in perfect control, his press smile pasted on. "What can I say, I'm a patriot." He even adds a wink.

As soon as the door closes, though, he sags and Steve is there to catch him and pull him into a quick hug. He kisses Tony's temple, who is shaking for God's sake. He then pries the handle of the suitcase armor away from Tony's hand to set it on the floor. Oh, that's an excellent idea and Steve feels a burst of pride. Even in distress, Tony always thinks fast.

"Shit, Steve, I'm sorry," he says, eyes huge.

"Not your fault," Steve reassures. "It was bound to happen and you know it. Heck, I didn't think we'd manage to hide this for almost a year."

"A year!" Clint exclaims.

Tony flinches, and Steve kisses his temple again. "Best year of my life. Come on, Sweetheart, it's time." He turns to Clint and Nat, now shoulder to shoulder and with pissed off body language. "Tony has something to tell you."

"Hum." And that's it. What a time for Tony to be tongue tied. Steve nudges him lightly with his elbow.

"Don't hate me?" Tony pleads. God, Steve almost melts. Who would stay mad at this face?

"What is it, Stark?" Natasha says, tone icy. Steve bristles at her attitude because it’s not helping Tony at all. 

Prompted into action, Tony takes his coat off, glances at Steve who nods reassuringly, then unlocks the suitcase. He kicks the briefcase open, then punches his hand in, causing the armor to deploy over his body.

It's so fucking hot, every time. Steve finds it extremely difficult to tear his eyes away from the marvel of technology that is revealing itself, enveloping Tony. It's worth it to see the complete shock on Nat and Clint's faces.

Once completely encased in the lightweight armor, Tony awkwardly waves. "Hi guys."

"Holy shit," Clint breathes out.

Steve can't stop grinning, he's so proud. He turns to kiss the face plate. "I love you."

Tony opens the visor and leans in for a real kiss. "I love you too."

In the background he can her Clint protesting. "Guys, guys, I thought I wanted to see this, but it turns out that I don't."

"I need to resign. How the fuck did I miss this?" Nat is asking out loud and Steve grins, kissing Tony smiling mouth some more.

He knows that everything will be okay.

 

(Epilog)

 

Almost instantly, Sam realizes their elevator ride is taking longer than usual. "I thought we were going to the R&D floor," he says, frowning at the numbers climbing on the display when they are just one level past.

His keen observation pleases Natasha immensely. She likes having a coworker who notice the little things.

"No need." Tony had asked to meet them on the common floor in a few minutes. "We're going up."

"Is there a problem with the boss?" Sam asks.

"Not going to Stark's floor. Just one below," Natasha says.

"But… That's the Avengers' floor, no?" Sam's words are coming faster. He's confused, visibly disconcerted that he does not understand what is going on.

"It is," Natasha says as the elevator stops and the doors slides open. "They want to see you."

"Me?" Wilson is completely taken aback, eyes round and voice climbing a little.

"It’s nothing bad," Natasha reassures. She lets him fret, though, striding towards the kitchen area, where she can hear her teammates. Well, hear Clint, at least.

"You can’t do that. It shouldn’t be allowed. I refuse!"

She finds Clint standing by Steve's chair, gesturing with an empty mug at the man, who is curled around the coffee pot defensively.

"It's mine," Steve grouches. It's nine thirty, but he's still in his red, white and blue pajamas (a gift from Tony, of course), his bed hair all over the place and barely awake. She was the first person shocked to learn that Captain America isn't a morning person.

"This is why we have two coffee pots," Natasha says, moving to the refrigerator to fetch orange juice. She likes caffeine too, but realized pretty early after moving in that the competition to get it was too much of a hassle. "Start the other one, Clint."

"But this one’s ready," Clint whines at the back of Cap's head, then brightens up when their visitor follows Natasha into the kitchen. "Hey, Sam!"

"Clint?" Sam says, frowning. He watches Natasha take a glass from the cupboards and then his eyes jump to Steve, who has straightened up to blink at his roommate.

"Sam? Oh!" Steve probably forgot he was supposed to come by this morning.

"Okay, so you being here I get," Sam declares, pointing at Steve. "You're with Iron Man, and I knew you were spending the weekend together. But what the hell?" he adds, now pointing at Natasha and Clint, skipping from one to the other rapidly.

Tony strides into the kitchen at his turn, and challenges Sam outright. "I'm giving you five seconds to get it, Wilson, or I'm reconsidering your promotion!" he tells a wide-eyed Sam before making a beeline for Steve. "Morning, beloved," Tony adds, bending down for a kiss.

Steve beams adoringly at Tony when they separate and Natasha is both endeared at how cute they are and still annoyed that she didn't see the signs. Frankly, she wouldn't even fight Fury if he wanted to fire Clint and her for gross incompetence.

"Wait, what?" Sam splutters.

The next wave of expressions on Sam's face is fascinating; she can see shock turn to surprise, then understanding as his eyes jump around the room, cataloguing how at home they are in the Avengers' kitchen. Clint who is grumbling at the second coffee maker with purple pajama pants covered with bows and arrows. Stark and Steve, who are still lost in each other's eyes. Sam looks back at her and Natasha slowly raises an eyebrow and smirks.

"Holy shit," Sam says, leaning against the fridge. The poor guy holds a hand over his heart as if he needs to press down on his chest to keep it in.

Tony, who has finally shaken his Steve haze, makes an approving face at Sam's distress. "Good. You got it, so promotion it is. Meet me in the lab so we can do a fitting for the new wings, at, what, eleven? Does that work for you?"

"Wings?" Sam says, a slightly faint. His eyes are growing wide. "Promotion?"

Steve looks concerned that Tony just broke his friend. "Guys, would you give me a moment with Sam? Thanks."

"Sure thing, honey," Tony says. He grabs a cup from the drying rack near the sink and stops to fill it from Steve's coffee pot. Because it's Tony, Steve doesn't try to bite his hand off and obligingly pushes it over.

"That's just not fair," Clint grumbles, stomping towards the living room. "See what I have to live with, Sam? Blatant favoritism."

"Yeah yeah, such torture," Tony needles, trailing behind Clint. "How's the new sixty-inch TV in your room, Birdbrain? Maybe I should take it back and give it to Steve."

It's an empty threat, but of course Clint plays along and they start to bicker.

Natasha squeezes Sam's upper arm in a show of comfort before following her two favorite idiots to the rec room. "Everything's fine, Wilson. Steve will explain."

Maybe not explain as much as confirm Sam's recent epiphany, but semantics.

Less than fifteen seconds after they've left Sam and Steve together an outburst rings out loud enough for them to hear.

"You motherfucker! You're fucking Captain America?"

Natasha had predicted that would be the news Sam would react the strongest to.

Stark hums. "Technically, I'm the one fucking-"

A good elbow jab sends Tony yelping, jumping to one side.

"Be nice, Stark."

"Yes, ma'am!" Tony says, rubbing his ribs. It must not be so bad because he didn't spill even a drop of coffee. "I'm clearly the one being abused here."

She smirks, tempted to start a playful tussle. Before the big reveal, Iron Man came on the Avengers' floor from time to time. It was fun to trade jokes with him, but Natasha likes having him out of the armor, still fun but relaxed now that the metal has been peeled away. She's getting to know all the facets of Tony Stark now, who went from boss and sponsor to teammate. Steve spends more and more time here too, to see Tony, and Natasha has a feeling that Sam will indeed accept that promotion and join the Avengers, adding a new member to their little family.

Content, she lies back against her favorite cushion and lifts a foot onto Tony's lap. "Massage?" she demands, with her sweetest smile.

"Abused and worked to the bone like a slave," Tony says, even though he's smiling and already working on pressure points in the arch of her foot.

Natasha tunes him out and closes her eyes, letting the feeling of belonging wash over her.

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a term used in the magic/illusion circles:
> 
> A Zarrow shuffle is a sleight of hand technique that gives the appearance of being a normal riffle shuffle, but in fact leaves the cards in exactly the same order. 
> 
>  
> 
> Again, a tip of the hat to the Stony Trumps Hate challenge, mods, creators and donators, it was an honor to be part of the movement! Frankly, my heart grew at least five sizes while witnessing the generosity in this fandom and by the person who won this auction in particular, thank you so much. 
> 
> Also much gratitude to the lovely ishipallthings who generously betaed this story! She did an amazing job <3 <3 <3
> 
> I can be found on [Tumblr](http://gottalovev.tumblr.com/), asks and more are always welcome!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> <3


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